I'm blue

It seems to me that as of late, I've had far more blue days than happy go lucky days. It really kind of bothers me that this is the case. I'm trying to stay positive, but there are just so many things that I allow to drag me down.

There seems to be an ongoing theme in my life as of late. It's called making choices.

I think it was Sir Issac newton that once said "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction" and that seems to be very true in my life as of late.

I'm tired more frequently, so I go to bed earlier. Since I'm sleeping more, I find it more diffivult to get up so I choose to hit the snooze button, and end up racing to work.

I want to work out, but I choose to sit on the chair and do nothing about it.

I want to be positive, but I choose to let negative emotions take over once they start. Once those negative emotions start, I tend to distance myself from those around me who I value. When i distancve myself from them, I begin to feel lonely. Sometimes, I feel like I could be in a room full of people and still feel like the only one there. Other times, I feel like I would be the life of the party... You know the guy who is dacning around on the tablewith the lamp shade on his head or some other absurd thing.

I'm not sure why I feel this way, but it really bothers me. Someone suggested I go to church conference, I went, enjoyed it, and then got upset. I went to a session last night. I enjoyed 99% of it, but found myself upset at the end. Why? Because I CHOSE to be upset and let it bother me.

Sometimes, I just don't know...

TGIF

You know, I'm a really lucky person. I'm not bragging, but rather giving thanks for being an all around lucky guy. How am I lucky?

I have FANTASTIC friends. Friends I can talk to almost any hour of the night and any day of the week that respect me and value my friendship and input.

I LOVE my job. Not everyone gets to wake up excited about going to work. This past week has been a struggle with all the negative emotions and feelings that I've had to deal with, but I've recognized what the problem is and I'm dealing with it. Depression Flat out sucks, and it's even worse when you forget your meds for an extended period of time.

I have food in my fridge and a roof over my head. I also have a bed in said house that keeps me warm enough at night that I don't freeze to death.

I have enough to provide for myself and sometimes for the people around me on the rare occaision I take someone out to dinner or a movie... sometimes both.

I've spent the last hour or so working on a project that my friend and I started back in December. It's not there yet, but I assure you, it's coming along and i feel fantastic about the direction i'm headed. Once I finish this little project I will have everyone over to celebrate and maybe mess it up a bit. Oh yeah, I need a grill first. Muah ha ha.

Well, I suppose I better get back on the ball and do a little more work.