Frustration

So I came to the realization the other day that I'm frustrated. On the bright side, the anxiety that typically follows my frustration AKA the Vicious Cycle de Joe is nowhere to be found. In fact, my anxiety for the most part has taken a much needed, and much anticipated break. YES!!

So what am I so frustrated about?

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're missing something? You look, and you look, and you look some more and you just can't quite put your finger on it? So instead, you think... and you think... and you think... Much like Winnie the Pooh.

Fortunately, I'm not after the Hunny Pot that Pooh loves to think about.

I'm still not sure where I am even going with this post, but I thought that perhaps by writing something down, it might work itself out. Back to the point...

And on to the breakthrough! See? I knew it would work.

Anyone familiar with the term stagnation? Here, look it up.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stagnate?s=t

OR for the ones who don't want to click...

stag·nate [stag-neyt] 

verb (used without object), stag·nat·ed, stag·nat·ing.

1. to cease to run or flow, as water, air, etc.

2. to be or become stale or foul from standing, as a pool of water.

3. to stop developing, growing, progressing, or advancing: My mind is stagnating from too much TV.

4. to be or become sluggish and dull: When the leading lady left, the show started to stagnate.

verb (used with object), stag·nat·ed, stag·nat·ing.

5. to make stagnant. 

I think what I have been feeling is this. Most of the time, I'm a happy go lucky kind of guy. You'll see me smiling, telling jokes and talking to everyone I see. Truthfully, it's exhausting. I'm an introvert, and being social tends to take a lot of my energy. The problem is, by the time I get home from work, I'm so mentally exhausted from being a forced extrovert, that I come in, sit down, eat something, and go into a near vegetative state for a couple of hours. by that time, I'm hungry, so i cook something and eat. Then, I go back into a vegetative state for another hour or so. The whole problem with this is that I spend so much time in that state, that I let things slip. Dishes, cleaning house, other goals, etc.

I set some very realistic goals this year, and I thought perhaps by giving an update, I might be able to break out of the state I am in.

Most of you guys know that I went ahead and bought the P90x3 workout sets with the goal of doing that for my exercise. Unfortunately, I have had to put that on hold for a while while I let my chest heal up. It's been inflamed for who know how long, and been hurting for well over the past month. It's finally getting to the point to where I can work without hurting, so I'm getting there. I've watched all the workouts, and I know that they are well within my range of ability, so i'm honestly looking forward to it.

I've read one of the 6 non-fictions I set out to this year. I'm currently working on a couple. Freakanomics and Bad Science. Both of them have been highly entertaining and I've managed to learn a few things from them both. If you're interested, you can get them...

Freakanomics

Bad Science

Living my budget has been a bit on the difficult side. I'm making progress, but I've found that I really do spend way too much money. not much more I can say about that other than it's time to buckle down and make the changes I need to.

Fixing my credit: Well, I'm paying on a loan, and paying extra, so that will hjopefully help. I've decided that after the loan is paid, I will divert those funds to credit repair in a honest effort to fix it.

The top secret goal: Well, It's in the works!

Step 1: DONE

Step 2: DONE

Step 3: In progress

Step 4: Pending

Step 5: Pending

Step 6: Announcement to be made soonish.

So taking a few minutes to look back has actually helped! I'm feeling not so stagnant, as I look and see what I have done so far this year, and it is barely the middle of February!

Thanks for listening guys! Look for another update soon!

Ask Joe Anything

So a few weeks ago on my Facebook, I invited all my friends to ask anything they'd like to know about me. I got a few responses, and I have a few answers.


Tammy asked "Hey Joseph. How are you? Well, I want to ask you a question. Hope you don't mind, but I'd like to know, how did you get into writing in the first place? What motivates you to write"

My high school Journalism teacher Marilyn, responded by saying "Writing, with a pen and paper, has amazing therapeutic and healing benefits. Writing with a computer does the same, but not as well."

I'm going to expand on that. Tammy, writing for me has always been an outlet. I've been writing as long as I can remember. It didn't really matter what it was. I've written short stories, game scenarios, and even a few plays in my younger days. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings in speech, and when I write, I'm as brave as anyone could be. I'm not afraid to pull punches, or say something controversial. I've written several things that have won awards. A short story in grade school, a newspaper article, some poetry reviews, and some of my own poetry. I write to escape too. I tend to get lost while I'm writing. The entire world just fades into nothing while I write. it's quite an amazing feeling, and I'm sure you have something that does the same for you. Maybe for you it is drawing.


My sister Ally asked  "By the way, I'd like to know why you got a cat. I know you don't have him any more but still, I'd like the thought process behind it. Unless it was all she who shall not be named's idea. Then I won't rub salt into that wound."

The whole reason I got a cat in the first place was because it was "her" idea. "Her" is my ex wife. more on that later. She was working (one of the few times she actually did) and one of her coworkers had to put her Mother into a nursing home. Tiger was only a month old at the time, and the daughter couldn't take care of it. Poor guy was getting attention about once a day, and it wasn't healthy for him. The coworker asked if we could take him, so he wouldn't have to go to the pound. I decided that it would be OK on a trial basis, as I had always been allergic to cats. When we brought him home, I wasn't as allergic as I thought, and he kinda grew on me, so he got to stay until we couldn't take care of him any more and had to consign him to the fates at the pound. Since he's been gone, my allergies, and asthma have been much better. I still miss the fuzzball though.


My friend Carol asked "Joseph, so what about your personal life? Ever been married, or are you still looking for the right lady? Or man? But I never had the feeling you roll that way"

I have to be honest, this one made me chuckle. I was married for nearly 7 years before everything was said and done. It didn't work out, but I'm really grateful for the lessons I learned. I'm much more comfortable in my own skin as a result, and FAR more comfortable talking with the ladies. 

What made me chuckle about the question is this is not the first time I've been asked about the possibility of a man being in my life. Yes, I'm far more comfortable around men because I don't have to worry about impressing them. However, I have no desire to be in a relationship with another man. I like the ladies FAR too much for that. :)

No kiddos, but I do have several awesome nieces and one totally rad nephew.


My friend Melissa asked "How did you become my Sancho"

The answer to this, and a bit of history on it. This is kind of an inside joke between Melissa and myself. Melissa was one of my best friends (still is even though i don't see her as much as before) while I was working at Convergys (AKA HELL) and she made many a day far more tolerable than most. One day she said she needed a sugar daddy, and jokingly I said I'd take the job. Ever since then, She has called me Sancho. So that, dear Melissa is how I became your Sancho.


Sorry it has taken me so long to put this together. I've been working on my Top-Secret goal for this year, and it is coming along. There are probably 10 steps to getting this one done, and I've gone through three of them, and working on the fourth. When I'm in a better position to see what the future holds, I will let you all know.

Stay Warm and safe my friends!

If you have any other questions, feel free to drop them on my facebook page!