I really dislike early morning Phone calls. Especially the ones that you don't really expect to get and like the one I got this morning. Here is roughly how it played out. I missed the initial call and was left a message.
Me: Hi. I got a message from you that I needed to call you about my Dad.
Gal on the other end: Yes, I'm with the caretaking company that goes and checks on your dad once a week.
Me: Yeah, Dad told me about that.
Gal on the other end: I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but when we went to check on your father this morning, we discovered that he has passed away.
Me: *silence*
Gal on the other end: Joseph? Are you ok?
Me: What?
Gal on the other end: Are you ok?
Me: Are you kidding me?
Gal on the other end: Honey, I'm sorry, but I'm not. Are you ok?
Me: uhhhh... yeah. I'm a little mad, but I'm ok.
Gal on the other end: I understand how you would be....
The Phone call I have been dreading most of my life... What a sucky way to start the day. I would however like to say to the gal on the other end of the line: Thank you for being so understanding during what was one of the most difficult moments of my life. Your calmness really set me at ease with what I need to get done.
For those that don't know much about my dad, here are some facts. He lives in Amarillo. He has been a diabetic for most of his life. He didn't really take care of himself. He passed away as a result of not taking care of himself. Yes, I'm really a little mad at him, but I'm happy he's not sick anymore and he's with his family again.
I spent two hours on the phone this morning calling family members and close friends. To those of you who I missed in the first wave, I am sorry. Someone in the family will be calling you with details shortly. If you read on, you'll know what I know.
I spent about three hours on the phone with various members of the Amarillo Police/Court Systems and various departments trying to track down where Dad is. It's a PAIN in the butt when they don't live in the same city as you, but that can't always be avoided.
What I know at this point:
There will not be an autopsy. The police discovered no signs of foul play and with the medical history I'm sure they will rule it either an accidental death or natural causes. I was under the impression that there would be due to someone discovering his body.
Dad would not want us to interrrupt our holidays any more than aboslutely necessary to get him taken care of. I have been sure of this fact since I first heard the news. The service will probably be sometime next week, possibly later to allow those who want to attend a memorial to come.
You now know as much as I do. Tomorrow I head to Amarillo with my Sister and brother in law to start the arraangement process and then I'm heading back to spend Christmas with my Family and friends.
On that note. I would like to thank some people up front for things they have already done for me. Dealing with a loss in the family is hard enough, but these people have really done more for me than I expect. I'm only going to list a couple, but you all know who you are.
Jan: Thanks for being a Boss that is concerned with my well being above and beyond what a "normal" boss would be. Your advice and experience has already benefitted me.
Darren: You've been my friend for nearly 20 years. Thanks for lending me your ears and giving me some time of normalcy and stuffing me with pizza for dinner.
To My Fish Tank Friend: You know who you are, but I'm not sure you read the blog, but anyway... Thanks for the Hot Chocolate and the hour and a half that you forbade me from picking up my phone, and simply being there. It did a lot to restore what little sanity I had left for today.
To all my other friends, I love you all and I am grateful for having you in my life.
Expect more details in the coming days and also more blog updates. I think this is going to be an outlet that will do me a lot of good. Now in the interest in what little bit of normalcy I have had today, I'm off to bed. I've got a big day ahead of me tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
To my Friends
I'm not sure where to start.
Perhaps "Thank You" would be the best.
Yeah, Thank You.
I am truly blessed to have a friend like you in my life.
You Rock.
Perhaps "Thank You" would be the best.
Yeah, Thank You.
I am truly blessed to have a friend like you in my life.
You Rock.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Things I learned this week
It's time again for a recap of what I learned this week.
1) Christmas music is not as bad as I remember it being. I've been a grinch for far too long during the holidays.
2) Pigeons are NASTY birds. Their droppingfs are even more nasty
3) Ethernet cable looks interesting, but it is a PAIN to make by hand.
4) Getting up Half an hour earlier is a real challenge for me
5) Using your turn signal in Lubbock is pointless. Other drivers see it and floor it so you can't move over.
6) Judy Garland was a hottie! Oh, and she can sing more than Somewhere over the Rainbow.
7) My niece is full of good advice. Some of which was confirmed by a friend during this week.
8) It is always important to teach girls/ladies how to change a tire while YOU change it. They appreciate it, but will still call you so you can rescue them. :)
9) Keeping stuff in storage is far too expensive. Especially when it turns out it's mostly junk you don't need anyway.
10) Having a washer and drier that work in your house a is a HUGE blessing.
So, do share... What did you learn this week?
1) Christmas music is not as bad as I remember it being. I've been a grinch for far too long during the holidays.
2) Pigeons are NASTY birds. Their droppingfs are even more nasty
3) Ethernet cable looks interesting, but it is a PAIN to make by hand.
4) Getting up Half an hour earlier is a real challenge for me
5) Using your turn signal in Lubbock is pointless. Other drivers see it and floor it so you can't move over.
6) Judy Garland was a hottie! Oh, and she can sing more than Somewhere over the Rainbow.
7) My niece is full of good advice. Some of which was confirmed by a friend during this week.
8) It is always important to teach girls/ladies how to change a tire while YOU change it. They appreciate it, but will still call you so you can rescue them. :)
9) Keeping stuff in storage is far too expensive. Especially when it turns out it's mostly junk you don't need anyway.
10) Having a washer and drier that work in your house a is a HUGE blessing.
So, do share... What did you learn this week?
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Work
I've been working a lot this past week on one of our computer labs. It's almost vaccation time and i've got this one last thing to get done beofre I can go. The boss initially said it as a joke but I think she means it now when she says I can't gon on vacatio n until the lab is done.
These computers got here on the 8th. I didn't even get to start working on one until the 10th. In order to replace the lab we had to pull all 25 computers, all the cabling, monitors and other equipment that was there as well since we got entire machines monitors included.
Thanks to my coworkers, they got those out pretty fast and I've been working on the cabling and getting the image ready tpo push onto the other machines. One of the nice little tricks that most non IT people don't generally know about is something called imaging. This is where you take a snapshot of one machines hard drive, and the use it to set up the other idnetical computers. This allows us to spend one day working on one machine and getting it all fixed and ready to go and then use that image to get the other say 24 done in one eight hour day.
Any guesses on what I'm going to be doing tomorrow? I'm gonna be busting my tail to be sure that this gets done before I walk out at 5. It's going to be an interesting day for sure. I'm super tired so i think I'm going to call it a night and curl up with a good book.
These computers got here on the 8th. I didn't even get to start working on one until the 10th. In order to replace the lab we had to pull all 25 computers, all the cabling, monitors and other equipment that was there as well since we got entire machines monitors included.
Thanks to my coworkers, they got those out pretty fast and I've been working on the cabling and getting the image ready tpo push onto the other machines. One of the nice little tricks that most non IT people don't generally know about is something called imaging. This is where you take a snapshot of one machines hard drive, and the use it to set up the other idnetical computers. This allows us to spend one day working on one machine and getting it all fixed and ready to go and then use that image to get the other say 24 done in one eight hour day.
Any guesses on what I'm going to be doing tomorrow? I'm gonna be busting my tail to be sure that this gets done before I walk out at 5. It's going to be an interesting day for sure. I'm super tired so i think I'm going to call it a night and curl up with a good book.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Ahhhh Crap!
You know, life is full of funny things that can turn out to be great lessons if you let them. For instance... This morning I was walking across campus and had just walked out of the arch under the English building heading toward the Education building. I felt a small tug on my lower right leg. I stopped, thinking I had dropped something. I didn't see anything unusual, so I continued to walk on.
Fast forward to three hours later. I'm crawling around on all fours wiring up the computer lab and I look down. I see this HORRIBLE mess on my lower right leg just above my shoe. I'm trying to figure out what the heck it is, and it dawns on me... Some stupid constipated pigeon had dropped half his body weight in poop on me and landed square on my leg.
Mildy irritated, I stopped what I was doing and proceeded to the bathroom where I scraped off the still moist bird dropping. (three hours later, it was still moist!! That's how HUGE this dropping was) Feeling totally nasty, I went and told the boss I was going to change clothes over lunch. She asked why and I had to (Not really had to, wanted to!) relay the whole story again. How often do you get hit with a pile of crap and live to tell about it?
Long story short, I went home, changed and then it dawned on me. If I had been walking a SPLIT Second faster, Said poop would not have been on my pant leg. It would have been on my head and all over me. I would have lost time at work because sure as anything, I would have turned right around and gone home to shower. GROSS!
Yes, I got pooped on today, but at least it wasn't a poop shower! Live and Learn!
Fast forward to three hours later. I'm crawling around on all fours wiring up the computer lab and I look down. I see this HORRIBLE mess on my lower right leg just above my shoe. I'm trying to figure out what the heck it is, and it dawns on me... Some stupid constipated pigeon had dropped half his body weight in poop on me and landed square on my leg.
Mildy irritated, I stopped what I was doing and proceeded to the bathroom where I scraped off the still moist bird dropping. (three hours later, it was still moist!! That's how HUGE this dropping was) Feeling totally nasty, I went and told the boss I was going to change clothes over lunch. She asked why and I had to (Not really had to, wanted to!) relay the whole story again. How often do you get hit with a pile of crap and live to tell about it?
Long story short, I went home, changed and then it dawned on me. If I had been walking a SPLIT Second faster, Said poop would not have been on my pant leg. It would have been on my head and all over me. I would have lost time at work because sure as anything, I would have turned right around and gone home to shower. GROSS!
Yes, I got pooped on today, but at least it wasn't a poop shower! Live and Learn!
Monday, December 13, 2010
The Coolest Present EVER!
I told her she should write them down in a book for me. Lo and behold, When I showed up this afternoon at her apartment, She had a nice hand made book made for me titled: "Your Guide to Girls and Women".
Mind you, my niece is 10 years old, so I thought ok, she might have some good stuff in there, but I kid you not. This is the BEST Gift Ever!
Here is some of what she wrote that has had me smiling all evening.
Chapter 1: Getting to Girls is all about how to get the girls attention and then what to do once you do.
Chapter 2: Holidays is all about how to treat a girl during the holidays. Best bit of advice... "Dress up on halloween as her favorite character. TIP: Don't scare her!"
Chapter 3: Is all about Women. Best bit of advice... "Don't force them to do something if they don't want to"
Chapter 4: Is all about getting married. This is probably the cutest chapter ever written on marriage.
She's got a lot of good advice in this book that I plan on following that really actually applies to men of ALL ages, and she already has another one in the works for me. Thanks Miss E. You Totally ROCK!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
What I've learned this week
Time for another edition of what I learned this week!
1) Saying you're ready for 26 computers arriving in 76 boxes and having them sitting in your office taking up space are two different things
2) It's hard to get up at 7:00 AM on a saturday for a 15 minute job, but it sure is worth it!
3) Sometimes when a friend does not talk to you, it doesn't mean they are mad at you. They could be having just a really bad day.
4) Something that comes pre-assembled can always be UN assembled!
5) One Dr Pepper in the morning makes me thirsty for Water in the afternoon!
6) Admitting to weaknesses doesn't make you weaker... It helps you identify something to make you better!
7) Passing the buck is not good. Unless said buck is to a cute waitress!
8) Going to a writers meeting is a good way to meet some really interesting and talented people.
9) Using a gravel vacuum to clean a fish tank is harder than it looks.
10) Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
1) Saying you're ready for 26 computers arriving in 76 boxes and having them sitting in your office taking up space are two different things
2) It's hard to get up at 7:00 AM on a saturday for a 15 minute job, but it sure is worth it!
3) Sometimes when a friend does not talk to you, it doesn't mean they are mad at you. They could be having just a really bad day.
4) Something that comes pre-assembled can always be UN assembled!
5) One Dr Pepper in the morning makes me thirsty for Water in the afternoon!
6) Admitting to weaknesses doesn't make you weaker... It helps you identify something to make you better!
7) Passing the buck is not good. Unless said buck is to a cute waitress!
8) Going to a writers meeting is a good way to meet some really interesting and talented people.
9) Using a gravel vacuum to clean a fish tank is harder than it looks.
10) Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Christmas Party
I went to a Christmas party tonight and had a good time. There is nothing like a group of totally sober people acting like total idiots and having a good time.
I got a couple of dances in with my niece and decided that I'm WAY out of shape. Yes, I know pear is a perfectly good shape, but not one I want to be forever.
There also was a girl who missed Santa because she was late and he had to catch a flight out west. I decided that I had to do something so I called a good friend up and asked him to be Santa's helper, and talk to the girl. It was so neat to hand her the phone and watch her eyes light up when she realized who she was talking to.
I don't like to toot my own horn very often, but goodness... I couldn't let that girl leave as disappointed as she was. I'm sleeping good tonight.
I apologize for the brevity, but I've got to be to work at 7 AM to open doors, so it's off to bed.
Be thinking of things that you learned this week, because tomorrow is the weekly "Things I've learned this week" and I want to hear from you!
I got a couple of dances in with my niece and decided that I'm WAY out of shape. Yes, I know pear is a perfectly good shape, but not one I want to be forever.
There also was a girl who missed Santa because she was late and he had to catch a flight out west. I decided that I had to do something so I called a good friend up and asked him to be Santa's helper, and talk to the girl. It was so neat to hand her the phone and watch her eyes light up when she realized who she was talking to.
I don't like to toot my own horn very often, but goodness... I couldn't let that girl leave as disappointed as she was. I'm sleeping good tonight.
I apologize for the brevity, but I've got to be to work at 7 AM to open doors, so it's off to bed.
Be thinking of things that you learned this week, because tomorrow is the weekly "Things I've learned this week" and I want to hear from you!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Risks
One of the biggest regrets I have in and about my life is that I don't take too many risks.
I tend to stay in my comfort zone, where I know I'm safe and I won't be hurt by anyone or anything else. I tend to blame this a little bit on my background.
Most of you know (or will know in about two seconds) that I'm what's commonly referred to as a Military brat. My Dad was in the military and because of that, I've Moved around A LOT. Typically we wouldn't stay in one area more than 3-5 years before having to pack up and move on. Sometimes it was shorter and never longer.
Beign a military child tends to do one of two things for your personality. You're either an outgoing person who loves to meet new people, the life of the party, etc... or You're more like me. I don't do very well with social situations. I tend to be more quiet (I know, unreal huh?) and reserved than some of my siblings and those around me.
Like I said, I don't normally like to take risks. Take for instance this. Normally, when I like a girl I kind of hang off to the side, check her out, plan my attack and smile. I never take that first step because I'm morbidly afraid of making an ass out of myself and being laughed at. (More to come on that subject in a later entry) Then, when said person moves on, I get upset and frustrated that I never took the time and stepped up and let them know how I feel. I cannot count the number of times that I've done this and for the most part, I feel horrible. I always promise myself that the next time that situation arises, I'd take the bull by the horns and just blurt it out so to speak. Most of the time however, I end up running willy nilly in front of said bull trying to not get gored and trampled. More often than not I end up broken, bruised and bleeding on the side of the street. All because I'm afraid to take risks.
Now, there have been some times when i have gone out on a limb and taken some risks and it's paid of big time. the most recent of these was when i applied for the position I'm currently working at. I hated where I was, wanted out, but again... here goes the worrying about the bull... Would I be trampled before I even got out the door?
Thanks to the helpful prodding of a couple of friends I prepared my resume and applied for the job. In the long run, the risk was far less than it appeared to be looking from the other side. The rewards however, have been fantastic. I love what I'm doing. My health has improved, I feel better about life in general.
I guess what I'm saying is, perhaps it is time to take more risks.
"Life is not tried, It's merely survived if you're standing outside the fire." --Garth Brooks
I tend to stay in my comfort zone, where I know I'm safe and I won't be hurt by anyone or anything else. I tend to blame this a little bit on my background.
Most of you know (or will know in about two seconds) that I'm what's commonly referred to as a Military brat. My Dad was in the military and because of that, I've Moved around A LOT. Typically we wouldn't stay in one area more than 3-5 years before having to pack up and move on. Sometimes it was shorter and never longer.
Beign a military child tends to do one of two things for your personality. You're either an outgoing person who loves to meet new people, the life of the party, etc... or You're more like me. I don't do very well with social situations. I tend to be more quiet (I know, unreal huh?) and reserved than some of my siblings and those around me.
Like I said, I don't normally like to take risks. Take for instance this. Normally, when I like a girl I kind of hang off to the side, check her out, plan my attack and smile. I never take that first step because I'm morbidly afraid of making an ass out of myself and being laughed at. (More to come on that subject in a later entry) Then, when said person moves on, I get upset and frustrated that I never took the time and stepped up and let them know how I feel. I cannot count the number of times that I've done this and for the most part, I feel horrible. I always promise myself that the next time that situation arises, I'd take the bull by the horns and just blurt it out so to speak. Most of the time however, I end up running willy nilly in front of said bull trying to not get gored and trampled. More often than not I end up broken, bruised and bleeding on the side of the street. All because I'm afraid to take risks.
Now, there have been some times when i have gone out on a limb and taken some risks and it's paid of big time. the most recent of these was when i applied for the position I'm currently working at. I hated where I was, wanted out, but again... here goes the worrying about the bull... Would I be trampled before I even got out the door?
Thanks to the helpful prodding of a couple of friends I prepared my resume and applied for the job. In the long run, the risk was far less than it appeared to be looking from the other side. The rewards however, have been fantastic. I love what I'm doing. My health has improved, I feel better about life in general.
I guess what I'm saying is, perhaps it is time to take more risks.
"Life is not tried, It's merely survived if you're standing outside the fire." --Garth Brooks
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
This Blog
You know, one of the things that make blog writing difficult for me is that space of time between writing and hitting the post button.
Sometimes I worry that I've said too much, or not enough. I'm really trying to use this blog as a way for my friends and loved ones to get a picture of where I am, how I'm feeling and how I am.
A couple of had an entire entry written out, gone back and changed it. I've gotten a comments in my email from people who have been reading and they have really helped me solve that riddle.
I'm going to share one of them. This came from a friend that I had the pleasure of working with for a while and genereally having fun with. She wrote:
"I've been reading your blog and have enjoyed it. I like that your not afraid to be real and speak your mind."
I also had one that told me in short to not give a crap what other people think and live the way I need to.
I've gotten a couple of really neat ones that I'm going to keep to myself for now, but the point is, I've decided. If I want to really share myself I've got to be all out honest and straitforward with this blog. You can expect to see me for who I am.
Like it or not... welcome to my world. :)
Sometimes I worry that I've said too much, or not enough. I'm really trying to use this blog as a way for my friends and loved ones to get a picture of where I am, how I'm feeling and how I am.
A couple of had an entire entry written out, gone back and changed it. I've gotten a comments in my email from people who have been reading and they have really helped me solve that riddle.
I'm going to share one of them. This came from a friend that I had the pleasure of working with for a while and genereally having fun with. She wrote:
"I've been reading your blog and have enjoyed it. I like that your not afraid to be real and speak your mind."
I also had one that told me in short to not give a crap what other people think and live the way I need to.
I've gotten a couple of really neat ones that I'm going to keep to myself for now, but the point is, I've decided. If I want to really share myself I've got to be all out honest and straitforward with this blog. You can expect to see me for who I am.
Like it or not... welcome to my world. :)
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Insecurity
I found myself feeling very insecure this evening. I had a rough day at work, But I was bound and determined to make it work and walk out with a smile on my face. Sure enough, I did.
I came home, Ate dinner and sat for a bit. I'm not sure excactly what happened but all Of a sudden i began to feel very insignificant, alone and insecure. If you read my blog entry a few days ago, you'll know that I'm trying to be a little better and let some of my anger go. It seems that I'm hitting one of those times that life is going good and all of a sudden, BAM...
Nothing went Bam though, and that's what confuses me. Luckily I have a good friend who lets me bounce things off of him. I spent roughly an hour or two talking with my friend Einstein tonight expressing some of my concerns and insecurites that I've been feeling. He reminded me that everyone experiences it, and he has dealt with a lot of the same things in his life.
Thank Goodness for good friends. Einstein, you're a good man and I'm happy to count you as one of my closest friends.
Now, I'm off to bed.
I came home, Ate dinner and sat for a bit. I'm not sure excactly what happened but all Of a sudden i began to feel very insignificant, alone and insecure. If you read my blog entry a few days ago, you'll know that I'm trying to be a little better and let some of my anger go. It seems that I'm hitting one of those times that life is going good and all of a sudden, BAM...
Nothing went Bam though, and that's what confuses me. Luckily I have a good friend who lets me bounce things off of him. I spent roughly an hour or two talking with my friend Einstein tonight expressing some of my concerns and insecurites that I've been feeling. He reminded me that everyone experiences it, and he has dealt with a lot of the same things in his life.
Thank Goodness for good friends. Einstein, you're a good man and I'm happy to count you as one of my closest friends.
Now, I'm off to bed.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Today
Today was probably one of the best days I've had in a while. I walked tall, had fun, and enjoyed myself at work.
So in honor of a great day, I'm gonna keep this short. Here is some of the music I listend to today.
Beatles: Hey Jude
John Lennon: Imagine
Three Dog Night: Joy to the world (Jeremiah was a bullfrog!)
Marty Casey: Creep (By radiohead)
Journey: Open Arms
Europe: The Final Countdown
Def Leppard: Pour some Sugar on me
Phil Collins and NSync: Trashing the camp (From Tarzan)
That's just a sampling, but I've been literally all over the place musically today. I'm not inclined to play, but goodness, it's nice to listen!
So in honor of a great day, I'm gonna keep this short. Here is some of the music I listend to today.
Beatles: Hey Jude
John Lennon: Imagine
Three Dog Night: Joy to the world (Jeremiah was a bullfrog!)
Marty Casey: Creep (By radiohead)
Journey: Open Arms
Europe: The Final Countdown
Def Leppard: Pour some Sugar on me
Phil Collins and NSync: Trashing the camp (From Tarzan)
That's just a sampling, but I've been literally all over the place musically today. I'm not inclined to play, but goodness, it's nice to listen!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I've been thinking
Let's start off with a word and perhaps that might explain where I've been and what I've been thinking about most of this weekend.
The word of the day is PONDER, and the following definition comes from dictionary.com
The word of the day is PONDER, and the following definition comes from dictionary.com
–verb (used without object)
1. to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate (often fol. by over or upon ).
–verb (used with object)
2. to weigh carefully in the mind; consider thoughtfully: He pondered his next words thoroughly.
I've been pondering where I'm at in my life over the past few weeks and in particular over the past few days. I realize that I have changed a LOT over the past year. I've made some major life decisions and lived with the repercussions of those decisions. Do I regret those decisions? No. not at all. They have helped define me as who I am and who I will be.
One of the things I have been pondering over is why/how I can not seem to get myself to church (Not just my church but ANY church). Initially I stopped going when my wife and I seperated because I wanted to avoid the "Where did she go, and when is she coming back, and Are you getting a divorce" questions. Divorce in my religion tends to be looked at as a very last resort, and some people will never understand why anyone under any circumstances would go through a divorce. I saw it with my Mom, swore to myself I would never get married so I could avoid the pitfall of divorce.
Well, as we all know, life tends to throw things at you and I met and fell in love with a girl and got married. When I got married I swore to myself that no matter how bad things got, I would give it my all and under no circumstances would I get divorced. Well, almost 6 years later, I got a divorce.
I was miserable. I got angry at myself and my ex-wife. I got frustrated, and in truth, I got mad at God. Real Mad. Madder than I've ever been before in my life. In fact, in writing this right now I'm feeling a lot of emotions that I never thought I would, and I never thought that I would admit them publicly. This is a good thing.
Let me tell you a bit about what I know/belive about God.
1) God loves each and every one of us, wether we choose to see it or not.
2) God gives us the gift of making choices. Good ones, and Bad ones.
3) God expects us to live with the choices that we make and consequences that follow.
4) God is always right there just a step away, all we have to do is turn around and ask for His Presence.
5) God still performs miracles on a daily basis. I'm not just talking about things like the sun rising and setting, and the perfect balance of life on this rock. I'm talking full on biblical scale miracles. How do I know? I've seen and experienced them first hand. I've watched His influence in the lives of people I know and trust, even the ones that don't belive in Him as I do.
So knowing all this, Why Would I get mad at God and stop going to church? Well, it's complicated. Do I know that I am loved? Yes I do.
The problem is, that is seems the harder I try, The worse it gets. I've had my church clothes washed and ready to go for over a month. I set my alarm, Heck, I've even had people call me an hour beforehand so I am up, but it never seems to fail... I start not feeling well, or I roll over and go back to sleep.
I still pray. I still talk to God. I wonder at His miracles, but I just cannnot bring myself to get to church and I don't know why. Perhaps I just need to make a commitment to myself to go no matter what. I'm sure the roof wouldn't fall in on me.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step in fixing it.
So here goes...
I'm Joseph, and I've been angry at God for far too long. I hope He will forgive me and give me the strength to be a better man.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
What I've learned this week
I'm going to make this a Saturday tradition. A blog that I've read for a while has a weekly What I've learned this week post and I've decided that I'm going to steal just a little bit and do one of my own on Saturdays.
You can read the inspiration (And madness) over at http://nuckingfutsmama.com/ Be warned, This lady can be a little on the ummm risque? side for time to time, but it's always a good laugh.
So in Honor of NuckingFutsMama, here is MY version of "What I learned this week"
1) Driving to work takes longer than 20 minutes if you have to scrape your windows.
2) Blue Man Groups "Rods and Cones" is great for listening when you want to drive fast. Looked down and realized I was doing 80 and moving on up on the freeway coming home.
3) Plans are good, just be prepared to have a wrench thrown in them.
4) Sometimes thinking too much can get you into trouble.
5) Closing your internet down when the boss walks up and asks you a question tends to make it look like you are trying to hide something from them. (For me it simply means I want to give you my undivided attention)
6) Students Gradute and move on
7) *EDIT* Buying a wii and playing Michael Jackson The Experience with your friends equals great youtube footage! However not so great youtube comments SUCK. Video removed, if you want to see you're gonna have to see it in person from now on.
8) I should not be up this late on any day of the week
9) There is such a thing as TOO MUCH sleep
10) *Here is where I defer to the wisdom of NuckingFutsMama and I quote* Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
*EDIT* 11) Holy Cow... Mom was right. Sometimes the best thing I can do is shut up and Listen.
So what important things did YOU learn this week?
You can read the inspiration (And madness) over at http://nuckingfutsmama.com/ Be warned, This lady can be a little on the ummm risque? side for time to time, but it's always a good laugh.
So in Honor of NuckingFutsMama, here is MY version of "What I learned this week"
1) Driving to work takes longer than 20 minutes if you have to scrape your windows.
2) Blue Man Groups "Rods and Cones" is great for listening when you want to drive fast. Looked down and realized I was doing 80 and moving on up on the freeway coming home.
3) Plans are good, just be prepared to have a wrench thrown in them.
4) Sometimes thinking too much can get you into trouble.
5) Closing your internet down when the boss walks up and asks you a question tends to make it look like you are trying to hide something from them. (For me it simply means I want to give you my undivided attention)
6) Students Gradute and move on
7) *EDIT* Buying a wii and playing Michael Jackson The Experience with your friends equals great youtube footage! However not so great youtube comments SUCK. Video removed, if you want to see you're gonna have to see it in person from now on.
8) I should not be up this late on any day of the week
9) There is such a thing as TOO MUCH sleep
10) *Here is where I defer to the wisdom of NuckingFutsMama and I quote* Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
*EDIT* 11) Holy Cow... Mom was right. Sometimes the best thing I can do is shut up and Listen.
So what important things did YOU learn this week?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Blue Days
As most of my friends and coworkers know, I suffer from Depression and Anxiety. Normally it's not that much of a problem, and it hasn't been for a long while now, but every once in a while I have what I call a "Blue Day".
That's where I get moderatley depressed over nothing in General. Typically it happens once or twice a month and it turns out today was one of those days.
I woke up feeling fine, got to work feeling fine, sat down and realized that I've got student workers who are leaving soon that I really enjoy having around. One has left already, and the others are shortly to follow. Two are Graduating and moving on to bigger and hopefully better things in life. The others are going on Christmas break and will be back shortly afterward.
I've only known these guys (the graduating ones) for a little over a year but I'm sensing that there is going to be a hole in our deparment at work for quite some time. If you know me, I like to talk a little smack from time to time and not only can these guys take it, they are pretty darned skilled at giving it right back which is one of the reasons I enjoy going to work so much. It's gonna be hard to lose them, and I can only imagine what my Boss is going to be feeling as she has known and worked with these two for several years now.
The ones that are staying on and working with me are great. Don't get me wrong. I've felt this a few times when others have left for bigger and better things and it's something I'm going to have to get used to. Ahh Life, it stinks sometimes.
Mike and Kevin, I wish you guys the Best. Feel free to call me anytime.
That's where I get moderatley depressed over nothing in General. Typically it happens once or twice a month and it turns out today was one of those days.
I woke up feeling fine, got to work feeling fine, sat down and realized that I've got student workers who are leaving soon that I really enjoy having around. One has left already, and the others are shortly to follow. Two are Graduating and moving on to bigger and hopefully better things in life. The others are going on Christmas break and will be back shortly afterward.
I've only known these guys (the graduating ones) for a little over a year but I'm sensing that there is going to be a hole in our deparment at work for quite some time. If you know me, I like to talk a little smack from time to time and not only can these guys take it, they are pretty darned skilled at giving it right back which is one of the reasons I enjoy going to work so much. It's gonna be hard to lose them, and I can only imagine what my Boss is going to be feeling as she has known and worked with these two for several years now.
The ones that are staying on and working with me are great. Don't get me wrong. I've felt this a few times when others have left for bigger and better things and it's something I'm going to have to get used to. Ahh Life, it stinks sometimes.
Mike and Kevin, I wish you guys the Best. Feel free to call me anytime.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Black Friday/Weekend Shopping
I decided the other day that I wanted to treat myself to a Wii. Not Just any Wii, but the new limited edition Red Wii with the New Mario brothers Game.
When I went Saturday morning to get it, I managed to talk myself out of it. As the day went on, I found myself thinking about it more and more.
It's only $169... It Comes with 2 games... It's such a pretty shade of red... It'd look good in my room... I could share games with my Brother in law... I could have friends over to play at a party... I have gift Certificates to best Buy...
Long story Short, I went to get it Saturday evening, and they were out of stock. Not a single one in the store. I was BUMMED. I asked if they could check in the back and see if they had one and the rep headed back that direction. In the meantime, I spied someone carrying one around with him. I decided I'd keep an eye on him and see if he took it out.
He put the console down on the shelf to answer his cell phone and I was tempted to go get it, Walk off and claim the "Posession is nine tenths of the law" line to rationalize it. However, I realized that every time I turned it on or looked at it I'd remember how I got it and end up hating myself for it, so I waited for him to get off the phone and asked him if he was indeed going to buy it. He said he was and that was that.
In the meantime, the sales rep ended up behind the customer service counter helping other people and plain forgot about my wii problem. I wait for a few more minutes hoping deperatly that the rep would come back. Sadly he never did. I watched a few people play the kinect and wished I still had my 360. I was about to walk out when the unimginable happened.
All of a sudden, Mr Cell Phone wii man walked up, tapped me on the shoulder and said he decided he didn't want the wii after all and if I wanted it, he'd give it to me. I WAS FLOORED. You hear so many stories of horrible shopping on Black Friday and the weekend after that I never expected to walk out with a wii after I saw that they were out.
So Mr Cell-phone talking wii giver-upper, I salute you! You Made my day! Every time I play that Wii, I'll think of how you chose to give it to me rather than just putting it on the shelf and walking out. You are a good man, and will live in my memory every time I play.
Speaking of which... it's time to play!
When I went Saturday morning to get it, I managed to talk myself out of it. As the day went on, I found myself thinking about it more and more.
It's only $169... It Comes with 2 games... It's such a pretty shade of red... It'd look good in my room... I could share games with my Brother in law... I could have friends over to play at a party... I have gift Certificates to best Buy...
Long story Short, I went to get it Saturday evening, and they were out of stock. Not a single one in the store. I was BUMMED. I asked if they could check in the back and see if they had one and the rep headed back that direction. In the meantime, I spied someone carrying one around with him. I decided I'd keep an eye on him and see if he took it out.
He put the console down on the shelf to answer his cell phone and I was tempted to go get it, Walk off and claim the "Posession is nine tenths of the law" line to rationalize it. However, I realized that every time I turned it on or looked at it I'd remember how I got it and end up hating myself for it, so I waited for him to get off the phone and asked him if he was indeed going to buy it. He said he was and that was that.
In the meantime, the sales rep ended up behind the customer service counter helping other people and plain forgot about my wii problem. I wait for a few more minutes hoping deperatly that the rep would come back. Sadly he never did. I watched a few people play the kinect and wished I still had my 360. I was about to walk out when the unimginable happened.
All of a sudden, Mr Cell Phone wii man walked up, tapped me on the shoulder and said he decided he didn't want the wii after all and if I wanted it, he'd give it to me. I WAS FLOORED. You hear so many stories of horrible shopping on Black Friday and the weekend after that I never expected to walk out with a wii after I saw that they were out.
So Mr Cell-phone talking wii giver-upper, I salute you! You Made my day! Every time I play that Wii, I'll think of how you chose to give it to me rather than just putting it on the shelf and walking out. You are a good man, and will live in my memory every time I play.
Speaking of which... it's time to play!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
30 Days of Thanksgiving
Some of you may have heartd of the 30 days of Thanksgiving movement that has been active on Facebook. I heard about it, thought about it and passed it over. I've been thinking though, what are some of the things I AM thankful for? I decided to go ahead and give the 30 days thing a shot in one sitting. Here is what I have in no particular order.
I am thankful for:
1) A Warm, Dry place to sleep
2) Food on the table
3) A roof over my head
4) A job that allows me to provide for myslef and helps accomodate the above
5) Good Friends
6) A Warm hug after a hard day from my niece
7) Getting to spend a week (or close to it) sleeping on my brothers couch on vacation
8) Being lucky enough to have seen and been a lot of places in my life
9) A Sunset on the beach
10) Having learned skills that help me in my work
11) Having been married
12) Having gotten divorced
13) Good Music of all genres
14) Being able to watch movies that allow some escape from my world
15) My Anxiety
16) A doctor that listens
17) Having been allowed to go to several churches while I was growing up allowing me to learnabout them firsthand rather than hearing about them secondhand
18) Having been a missionary
19) Having a mother that lets me make bad decisions and loves me anyway
20) Being lucky enough to know and love all my siblings even if we don't talk as much as we should.
21) Getting to spend time with my only nephew, although I'd like to spend more with him
22) Laughing my butt off at a friend as he plays video games and fails miserably
23) Hearing my friend do the same when I play
24) Having a Boss who is patient with me when I get frustrated
25) Having Co workers that make work so much fun that I can't stand it
26) Having the opportunity to show someone something new and watch them grasp it. AKA getting to watch the light bulb go *DING*
27) Having a car that gets me back and forth to work
28) Knowing that no matter what I do, I have a Father in Heaven that loves me, and accepts me (mistakes and all) as long as I do my best.
29) For my Smartphone which is the best thing since, I don't know... The Nintendo?
30) Knowing that God will not give me more than I can handle, but trusts me with just enough that I think he does from time to time.
Some of you may be wondering about why I would I would say I am grateful for a marriage that didn't last and for a divorce. I was going to explain, but I don't think I want to anymore. Let's just say I learned from both. Maybe later down the road I'll explain, but for now. That will do.
So there you go. Are there any things that you are grateful for?
I am thankful for:
1) A Warm, Dry place to sleep
2) Food on the table
3) A roof over my head
4) A job that allows me to provide for myslef and helps accomodate the above
5) Good Friends
6) A Warm hug after a hard day from my niece
7) Getting to spend a week (or close to it) sleeping on my brothers couch on vacation
8) Being lucky enough to have seen and been a lot of places in my life
9) A Sunset on the beach
10) Having learned skills that help me in my work
11) Having been married
12) Having gotten divorced
13) Good Music of all genres
14) Being able to watch movies that allow some escape from my world
15) My Anxiety
16) A doctor that listens
17) Having been allowed to go to several churches while I was growing up allowing me to learnabout them firsthand rather than hearing about them secondhand
18) Having been a missionary
19) Having a mother that lets me make bad decisions and loves me anyway
20) Being lucky enough to know and love all my siblings even if we don't talk as much as we should.
21) Getting to spend time with my only nephew, although I'd like to spend more with him
22) Laughing my butt off at a friend as he plays video games and fails miserably
23) Hearing my friend do the same when I play
24) Having a Boss who is patient with me when I get frustrated
25) Having Co workers that make work so much fun that I can't stand it
26) Having the opportunity to show someone something new and watch them grasp it. AKA getting to watch the light bulb go *DING*
27) Having a car that gets me back and forth to work
28) Knowing that no matter what I do, I have a Father in Heaven that loves me, and accepts me (mistakes and all) as long as I do my best.
29) For my Smartphone which is the best thing since, I don't know... The Nintendo?
30) Knowing that God will not give me more than I can handle, but trusts me with just enough that I think he does from time to time.
Some of you may be wondering about why I would I would say I am grateful for a marriage that didn't last and for a divorce. I was going to explain, but I don't think I want to anymore. Let's just say I learned from both. Maybe later down the road I'll explain, but for now. That will do.
So there you go. Are there any things that you are grateful for?
Whirlwinds
So...
This is my first blog entry in a long time and I've decided I want to take it up again. Over the next few days, you can expect to see some changes, more details and even a funny story or two. The whirlwinds of life have been keeping me busy for the most part, and I'm ready to get some of it out and down on paper I suppose.
Oh wait, there is no paper in cyberspace. Drat! Foiled again. Oh well, I'm off for now!
This is my first blog entry in a long time and I've decided I want to take it up again. Over the next few days, you can expect to see some changes, more details and even a funny story or two. The whirlwinds of life have been keeping me busy for the most part, and I'm ready to get some of it out and down on paper I suppose.
Oh wait, there is no paper in cyberspace. Drat! Foiled again. Oh well, I'm off for now!
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